How to respond to criticism without getting defensive

Short answer: say “Let me think about that before I respond. Thanks for being direct.”

DON'T SAY
“Well, the reason I did it that way is…”
SAY THIS
“Let me think about that before I respond. Thanks for being direct.”
Pausing keeps you from defending and shows you took it seriously.

When to use it

Use it when feedback catches you off guard and your first instinct is to explain yourself. A short pause lets you consider it properly. You can share your reasoning later, once you've thought about whether the feedback has a point.

Example

Manager: “The proposal felt too long for this client.”

You: “Let me think about that before I respond. Thanks for being direct.”

In an email or Slack message

Come back the same day or next day: “I thought about your feedback on the proposal. You're right that it's long. I'll cut it to five pages. One section I'd keep is pricing, because…”

Quick drill

After a presentation, project or meeting where you'd like to improve.

Which sounds more confident?

Practice 10 more →

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